First thought

Day one... today we went shopping. For something sparkly. Something tiny...but represents so much. An engagement ring. Why was it that i wanted to throw up? Maybe it's because I can't seem to wrap my head around what it represents. Maybe it's because we were in a grungy pawn shop, hungry and pre-shower. This impromptu shopping trip brought up so many questions...we can't even legally get married, so what would it mean to be engaged? Why wasn't I excited about the ring? It was just an down-payment. A pre-proposal, pay off for 6 moths, solitaire diamond down-payment.